


I've Dreamed Of You So Much

by WolfAndHound_Archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Time Turner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 13:49:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5930668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfAndHound_Archivist/pseuds/WolfAndHound_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I've dreamed of you so much that you're losing your reality.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've Dreamed Of You So Much

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Lassenia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), which was created to make stories posted to the Sirius_Black_and_Remus_Lupin Yahoo! mailing list easier to find. However, even though I still love the fandom, I am no longer active in it and do not have the time to maintain it. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2015. I posted an announcement with Open Doors, but we may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Wolf and Hound collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wolfandhound/profile).

I've dreamed of you so much that you're losing your reality.

Since you were taken away, I've dreamed of you so much that I couldn't concentrate on anything. You consumed every moment of my life, and you never knew it. You never guessed that it was **you** who was invading my dreams at night, **you** taking over my thoughts during the day, **your** face tattooed on the insides of my eyelids every time I blinked, **your** voice I heard in every late-night murmur, **your** touch I felt with every breath of wind that caressed my cheek when we were flying...

And now you're back, you've suddenly begun to notice me, even to flirt with me, and I don't think I can do it. It's too late to reach out and kiss into life the voice I love so much, because you're too much like a ghost. I've dreamed of you so much that I think I've become accustomed to hugging your ethereal dream-form close to me at night, only for my arms to cross over my bare chest. If it was really you, the flesh and blood you, here in my bed with me, I don't think my arms would be able to fold around the contours of your body, because I've dreamed of you so much that flesh seems alien and nothingness seems right.

You look at me with such intensity now; I can't help but notice it. Maybe you're now dreaming as much of me as I do of you. Maybe we **could** become a reality instead of a wish, but as much as I want you, as much as I **need** you, I couldn't do it. Faced with the presence of the one who's haunted me for all these days and years, I think I'd become a shadow myself. I've dreamed of you so much that I always feel like the time for waking must have come and gone, and I'm asleep on my feet. I think you want me... although perhaps not quite as much as I want you. But how can I touch the lips of a phantasm? How can I trail my lips over a spirit's forehead? Any lips, any forehead will be easier for me to touch than yours.

I've dreamed of you so much, walked so much, talked so much, slept so much with this achingly beautiful mirage, that perhaps that's all **I** can be now -- a ghost amongst ghosts, a hundred times more of a shadow than the one that day casts across the sundial of your life. Can you live without me? I think so. Can I live without you? No. But I can't live **with** you either, because I've dreamed of you so much that you don't exist any more.


End file.
